Loneliness

December is coming in our doorsteps. We get to see Christmas lights filled our homes and surroundings. Gifts from our love ones the excitement of guessing what’s inside. To be with our family again, embraces that keeps us warmth in the coldness of night. Shares our blessing with one another, we smile and greet everyone a Merry Christmas, sing our favorite Christmas songs till the morning light comes out with our voices at high. I’ll be able to greet her, smile with one another laughing telling story of what a day it was. Just for one day I could hold her hands for once, held her cold hands. What better times to be with her in Christmas day. I supposed everyday is Christmas Day for me. I want to start my December full of hopes and happiness. End the year in high hopes.

wake up!

One day I looked outside my window realizing that it’s still not the end of my life; there’s gotta be more to life, sometimes we lose and win. It hurts but pain can be heal in time maybe it would take years or two to forget; hey she’s not the only girl in this cursed world right? Someday I’ll find a girl that’s more deserving for me, one that respects our relationship. It’s not my loss it’s her loss; I lost her which only counts as one but in the end I gain something she doesn’t have, that’s love and respect. Can you feel the pain when she said that she didn’t love you anymore even how you put down yourself begging her to love you again, just one last chance but it doesn’t matter it’s like she didn’t even see you or know you at all. Imagine those years of being with each other and out of nowhere she decided to let go? Ouchhhhh…….that’s how love works boys and girls. Don’t lose hope there still more beautiful things in life you just have to look. Reason I can’t answer why? Does a red shiny car attracts her or maybe that I don’t have a job to give what she wants? I don’t want to judge too soon. I think love really moves in a mysterious way. The way I see it she’s just securing her future, being practical in life is not bad at all. We make sacrifices to achieve a dream, back in our childhood day we recite the alphabet it goes A B C D right? Not A B D for Christ sake. Gifts don’t measure our love it’s how we love the person so much, the willingness to do anything to make her/him happy. Past haunts me like a shadow of myself w/c keeps on following wherever I go, if only I could reboot my mind and delete any memory I have with her. Months of depression and low self esteem I woke saying this isn’t right at all, I’m very fortunate to have my friends beside me, my family and my second family that I cherished the most I never regret knowing this people. I just need to accept that I lost her in that way you eased the pain that keeps on swallowing me for days. Don’t let it eat your body and soul, don’t fight it, accept the truth. Truth hurts but truth release us from burden, pain, agony, and despair. Open yourself to those people who loved you they’re just right outside your doorsteps. Life’s not perfect at all we just have to hold on to our dreams, our dreams works as fuel in our life its what keeps us going and going. In two days I managed to easily forget about her but not completely, I say that she’s just a ghost of my past. I learned the truth in a painful way it just happen too fast for me to see it with my naked eyes. But I can’t let her destroy dreams, every morning I smile thanking God for giving me the most precious gift, my life and continue loving every moment of it. Love can wait Just woke up to a terrible nightmare.