SnS

Small and Simple. Wishing our life was so simple, like a speck blown by the wind and fly free from everything the world can offer. Even a speck can travel millions of miles to reach a place where it could rest and bloom like everyone. A place, a paradise in its own will. Unscathed of human hands and intervention. We dream of the day living out of free will, away from the eyes of judgement telling who should be, and dictate us where to go.

Sinned

In a minute as time goes by you have cleansed my hands to forget the past.

Even though it has been forgotten but not myself.

I still remember the night was filled with stars.

As I look up and pray for forgiveness, everything seems to fade in darkness.

Composure

Though everything won't ever be the same again. I felt a small contentment in this little and temporary life. My smile limits me to feel the sadness and depression as if it was left behind or forgotten in just a short period of time. Life change for better or worse than others see. I myself lost the only light in my world, the sun that wakes me up everyday. Fallen, like the dark swallowed my heart the silence echoes in my sleep. The missing piece that show weakness, opened and again left opened. The pain inside remembering the memories and faces, I wanted to skip the days just for one day. Forgetting all you left for me was the very same thing that eats me alive. These nights was very cruel on me. Confused and dazed, a song played endlessly, the beat reminds the days your alive and well. I want to keep it that way. End the suffering and hate.

darky night (writings)

This night, it started with a question. Am I that less fortunate? Over and over I can see the flashback, a place where I was before. Same old songs, as fear stab my heart in this very night. I wander in dreams flying with the stars bright as your eyes. What if I’ve chosen a different perspective in life, will I be able to reach the heavens and touched the clouds just as the story would always play when I was young? Maybe not, we all have our share of good and bad days. It may not fall in our ways, yet willingly we search for that something. It may be someone or something besides you. We wait until days would turn grey, darkens heavens fall I wanted to cry or even shout for the skies to feel the pain inside of me. I kept seeing myself drenched and drowned in a pond of mud. Useless self existence, I feel helpless. Here I am again in this same old page. The world was never meant for my kind, life’s not equal. There would always be pain and anger that feed me to become numb, to see that everything that surrounds us would be the ones to hurt us. After all life’s not a fair game. But I remember you stared at me with your eyes closed. a.i.b

A New Beginning (writings)

I’ll shed my tears on you forever and guided me with your gentle sweet voice. You’ve appeared at the right moment with uncertainties and doubts, though I fear the pain to comeback and haunt me again in my sleep. I must hug the pain to feel again, a choice that I’ve wanted to do ever since. I thank you for the gift of smile for that single day that we’ve been together. A single drop of dew is enough to fill the bottomless heart I carry. You’ve been the brightest star among the rest and the cold breeze you’ve brought freeze my heart even time stop to gaze the subtle heart yet forgiving. With so little time that I even ran out of words. But I enjoyed watching you with those sleepy eyes that it makes you a bit more interesting and knowing you much better. I’ll forever longed, embrace, and cherish that moment. Though this may be a bit too much I can’t blame myself to what I feel for you. It may take days, months and years; I’ll wait for that day to be seen and heard to what my hearts say. So I’ve push my life to live from seeing the moment though with less expectations of goodness it doesn’t matter anyway, I’ve already promised and the end.a.i.b

distance (writings)

Unrest we've wasted too much time thinking non-sense explanation of our madness. The weaker we get, delusion of happiness, unconventional ways we become obsolete in our own failures, so expendable. Like Sacrificial lambs we fall and sink in this quicksand so fast. Dreams of selfishness, my desire, unwanted for this life was needed a heart to beat. The numbness as I sleep as dead, the absence felt so slow I fall forever from this dream. The chance to see the happiness I left behind. I wanted to scream, so loud it deafens for anyone to hear, seem silence was the ending I’ve been waiting, so fool to wait for nothing. It stops me from believing for good, but a gentle smile has once again sprouted. So sudden caught in the distance far more things to see, a hope to wait and believe.a.i.b

existing shadow (writings)

If all fails in the end will I ever give my heart away? Up to these last dark days I wonder. A suicidal melodrama scene seated and watches how our story plays. A random injection of emotions as it circles every seconds and induce our heart of pain and sorrow. It’s all just for plain play of life to come and juggle the reasons, catching the right decision and letting go of the rest broken. It happens and its the end, forced ourselves to a blind reality which will never comfort or even soothes this pain. This may have been your dark days but even night hides away. Light never failed to shine upon us. They say shadow exist because light shine behind, a hope. As we get closer the pain fades away. a.i.b